The White Male Oppressor Speaks

So you hate Oil and think that it is the scourge of the earth don’t you, you good little liberal you. Well the fact of the matter is that only about half of the oil even becomes gasoline.

The rest is used to make things that I bet you would piss and moan about not having anymore. Here is a partial list of the over 6000 products that are made from petroleum. You know the stuff that liberals and democrats want to make unreasonably expensive to promote non-profitable, heavily taxpayer subsidised green energy

* Computers
* Fertilizers
* Adhesives
* Feedstocks
* Heating and Cooling
* Tools
* Artificial hearts and pacemakers
* Aspirin
* Soft contact lenses
* Bandages
* Emergency and Surgical equipment
* Antihistamines
* Plastics
* Appliances
* Hot Water
* Roofing
* Cleaning Supplies
* Phones
* Clothing
* Gas grills
* Basketballs, Footballs and Sports Equipment
* Life jackets
* CDs and portable music players
* Boats and Personal watercraft
* Goggles and Sunglasses
* Skis
* Surfboards
* Cars, Trucks and Buses
* Emergency Vehicles and Fire Trucks
* Trains
* Planes
* Boats

I wonder if they even give any thought to all the things that they would suddenly have to live without if their goal of ending oil production was to be realized.

Until Next Time: Come to your conclusions with logic not your emotions.

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Here my dear reader is one that you may get a chuckle from. This story comes to us from the “sit in a corner dumb ass” file. In Bavaria a collage student who seemed to be barking mad caused quite a stir and a traffic jam near the southern town of Allershausen that stretched three miles. But how did this occur you ask?

This 26 year old German collage brainiac decided that it would be a good idea to go to a Hell’s Angels bar and cause a scene by first making a rude gesture to the members of the motorcycle gang and then to add insult to injury and really hurt their feelings assaulted them by throwing a puppy at them. That’s right he assaulted a biker gang with a puppy. Then this future leader illegally commandeered a bulldozer to make his daring escape from the gang, ditching it in the middle of the road and fleeing on foot where he was arrested a short time later by der Polizei (the police.)

Why the man decided to brandish a deadly puppy as a weapon is at this point unclear according to reports from a police spokesman. But I will bet this captain of industry is going to spend some time in the pound. And for all you animal lovers out there, the puppy is uninjured and in safe hands.

And now for the kicker: they are trying to blame this idiot’s actions on the fact that he has recently suffered from depression. You know even I the W.M.O. has been depressed at different times in my life. But never once has being depressed ever driven me to flip off a bar full of Hell’s Angels and then assault them with baby domestic pets. Now I am no psychiatrist or anything but I somehow think that there are other underlying issues going on with this guy. I wish I was making this up but no I found this gem in Reuters.

Until Next Time Remember: Puppies are not a weapon

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I have to remark on this little tid bit I found. So now the age old question do people shit in the woods can be answered. And that answer is NO. Apparently the eco idiots have determined that human waste is bad for the environment. Luckily for all of you out there, they now sell “Human Waste Removal Bags”. And there are even special blue bins in national parks for you to dispose of your poop. Some national parks actually require it. Oh yeah did I mention these bags are made of plastic? I will pause a moment to let that sink in…….

Okay that is quite enough. So let me get this straight, every other animal on the planet craps outside in the woods and that is okay, but somehow human waste is toxic? Instead of just taking a little shovel and digging a hole for your business and then burying it,  now we need to take non bio-degradable plastic bags to go in.

If you think I am kidding here is an excerpt from the Mount Rainer  website which has a whole section on human waste. And I am not talking about garbage. It says…

“If you must defecate while climbing, move off the route and away from rest areas. Human waste outside toilet locations must be packed out using the special “Blue Bags.”

“Blue Bags” are available at Ranger Stations and at Camp Muir and Camp Schurman. A Blue Bag contain two plastic bags; one clear bag and one blue bag, and twist ties. Use the bags to remove human waste from the upper mountain and deposit them in collection barrels at Camp Muir and Camp Schurman, or the “Glacier Toilets” at Emmons and Ingraham Flats.

I could go on and on about this as it is so damn funny, but instead I will just show you a couple of the products that are out there for your poop.

This looks more like a tampon or a douche box to me. Look at her, so happy to poop in a bag.

Here is a good picture of the WAG Bag waste disposal bags. As you can see it clearly says on the box “Help yourself, Help the earth” and they are a reasonable $39.95. So as you can see it can cost almost $40 to poop in the woods.

And finally for only $80 dollars you can get this neat tent toilet just in case you need a little extra privacy in the middle of NOWHERE.

Oh God I wish I was making this up. But anyway, I hope you found this as amusing as I did. And remember instead of taking a shovel and burying your bio-degradable waste, take a non-biodegradable plastic bag to put it in so as not to offend poor woodland creatures.

I shit you not, at least in the woods.

Until Next Time: Courage!

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