Simply put, political correctness means that you are always expected to apologize for what you say and is a way for oversensitive professional victims to try to dictate what everyone else can and can not do based upon the professional victims feelings, i.e. Butt Hurt whiners. Yes it can. But how can political correctness be funny you might ask? The answer to that is quite simple by refusing to be politically correct you can make large numbers of victims so angry that they will not know what to do with themselves except try to get the ACLU involved.
But if I was to leave it at that explanation it would make for not only a short but also boring post so I will elaborate a bit on the professional victim and ways to get past their infuriating rhetoric and have a good time in the process with the side benefit of making them beat red with anger. So lets start shall we? First…
The professional victim and its sub species (dun dun dun)
Have you ever just been talking to someone in a one on one conversation and legitimately referred to someone as retarded? Then from out of nowhere almost like an annoying superhero an overly helpful person shows their displeasure with your conversation that they are not a part of with something like. “You know it is not okay to say someone is retarded, that is offensive.” Then imagining that they are being helpful tell you that the correct term is developmentally disabled. Well my friend you have just met a professional victim. Other ways to know if you have run into this politically correct species of human is if you are buying cigarettes and the helpful person selling them to you informs you that they will kill you, like that is information you were not aware of. However there are some definable sub species to the professional victim, some are easy to spot and avoid while others blend into the fabric of society with well developed camouflage to better infect society with its destructive politically correct ways. Some of these sub-species are:
The Hippie
The hippie is probably one of the easiest to spot of the victim subset not only are there visual warnings that one is around but often auditory and odor warnings are found in the general vicinity of these creatures. Some of the warning signs include an odor that seems to be a mixture of patchouli and feet. Because hippies have a belief that dowsing themselves with patchouli is just as good as a shower. Also if you are in a park and hear the rhythmic sound of a slowly beaten drum be on the lookout there may be a drum circle nearby which usually has 3 to 6 hippies gathered together. The visual cues that you may be coming up on a hippie are tie-dye shirt headband and long hair and beard, a general unkempt appearance or a tee shirt with some blatantly communist or anti government slogan on it such as a shirt of Che Guevara. Watch these, hippies can be very dangerous. They are generally undereducated and don’t have jobs so they can pop up at anytime to try to tell you how “the man” is keeping them down.
How to combat the hippie. There are some safety devices that you may consider to ward off this threat: first carry a travel stick of deodorant with you – as one approaches take off the cap and point it at them, they are afraid of good hygiene so this may confuse them be careful with this tactic though it may anger them and then they might try to have a music festival. Many a town has been decimated by a hippie fest. If they get close to you, one of your best bets for scaring them away is to offer them a job. The hippie is allergic to work so this ploy may frighten them off. What ever tactics you take be careful they are dangerous and idealistic.
The Feminist
This victim sub-species can be far more militant than its hippie cousin this sub-species has two main forms the feminist and the feminazi. The feminist is by far the hardest to spot because she blends in to her surroundings quite well and only attacks when there is a perceived threat to her feminine superiority complex like a man holding the door open for her or a woman who looks better in a bathing suit than she does. You need to be very careful of the feminist because she is known for claiming sexual harassment if you compliment her on the way she looks or claim sexism if a man gets any recognition for anything. The easier to spot and more dangerous of the feminist sub-species is the Feminazi. The feminazi is easier to spot than the feminist because of the general outward appearance. This can include but is not limited to camo, combat boots, and overly butch appearance. Be wary, if you come into contact with either of these types of feminists there is no known effective defense against them. So if you are unlucky enough to come across this type of victim have courage and stand your ground they will generally go away on their own without to much of an incident.
The Poverty Pimp
This is a very easily recognizable group. Two prime examples of this sub-species is Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton. The poverty pimp is generally a member of an imagined under-represented minority group who tries to incite social discontentment by exploiting the poor or specific minority groups for their own personal gain. This kind of Professional victim is quite dangerous because they are generally well funded by liberal organizations as well as very charismatic so they are able to get the easily led – to follow them and believe their lies. Some of the more notable tactics of the poverty pimp is creating imaginary instances of racism to cover up their blatant separatist attitudes and racism. “”WARNING”" do not approach and or speak to this species under any circumstance or you risk law suits, inflammatory lies and character assassination.
Now that we have discussed some of the sub-species of the professional victim and purveyors of the disease of political correctness only one question remains: how can we annoy them for our amusement without getting called a racist or being sued? Here is one suggestion for those looking to combat the forces of speech codes and social restraints. Find a good politically correct protest and hold your own protest. Not a traditional protest but rather protest protesting. Get a group of friends together and carry white placards with the word protest on it with a circle and slash chanting “we’re not going to protest.” By doing this you will draw attention away from their whining and aggravate the hell out of them without being insulting or infringing on their right to free assembly. Remember no matter what they say the constitution works both ways.
I hope you found this post enjoyable and informative and remember my friends COURAGE…
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